Have you ever heard the saying “a mother is only as happy as her most unhappy child”? What do you think about that? Hummm, for those of us with several children, the odds are not in our favor. When people we love struggle, it hurts. When our children struggle, it can feel excruciating. We find ourselves trying to balance in the tension between connecting and “being with” another in their pain, while not drowning in it. Being able stand beside someone and provide comfort and support without feeling swallowed whole can be challenging. The word that keeps coming up for me is codependency. Parenting children who struggle can be the “petri dish” for the codependent parent. Caring for vulnerable children is hard. We are terrified of our own inadequacy, fearful we will be unable to help our children heal. It’s easy to fall into a false belief that the child needs rescue and we are the “rescuer”. This is a slippery slope and requires a new level of self awareness to know when we are loosing our footing.

This week on the Mamas Well podcast I explore the concept of codependency in parenting. I am “joined” by the “invisible” Dr. Brad Reedy. Dr Reedy is the cofounder and clinical director of Evoke Therapy Programs. Dr. Reedy is a psychotherapist and author of two of my my favorite books, The Journey of the Heroic Parent and The Audacity to Be You. Dr Reedy describes codependency as “a lack of differentiation”, “ a lack of boundaries and an over identification with others and their behaviors”.

This is a short, but informative podcast featuring some of my favorite outtakes from The Journey of the Heroic Parent. Be sure to check it out, and as always I’d love to hear your thoughts…

Audio only

DEEPER DOWN THE WELL