They are sometimes called “lightbulb moments”, epiphanies, “aaa-ha moments”. Those times when you learn, see, or experience something that forever changes the way you understand a person or situation.

In the community of foster care and adoption the term trauma is one that is used frequently, and for good reason. Trauma is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope

What is mental health? When I typed that question into my iPhone search engine, I quickly realized that there are many definitions and ways of viewing mental health.

Foster care and adoption exist because of a gap. A gap between a child and their birth parents ability to care for them. As with any gap, challenge, obstacle, or trial, there is inevitably a gift waiting for those that chose to be a part of the solution.

Foster / Adoptive children are survivors. No matter how early they were placed, how smooth the transition went, how limited the trauma was, or how loving the home is, there are for some, conscious reminders, and for all – unconscious ones.

Webster’s defines resilience as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. Undoubtedly, children from hard places like the foster care system have experienced more than their fair share of opportunities to develop resilience, but did you know that there are 4 main types of resilience and it’s possible to be strong in one area while lacking in others.

It’s a valid question for most of us. I don’t know how you were raised, but for me, when it came to “bad” behavior no excuses were made. Tired? Power through it. Stressed? Deal with it.

As a foster parent, I found the legal jargon and courtroom experiences to be quite intimidating. I spent many hours scouring the internet trying to make sense of the legal processes that children, birth parents and foster parents go through when a child is placed into protective custody.

Fr. Joseph Nassal says, “Behind every scar there is a story.” We all have our stories. We all have scars and we all have choice in what to do with them. As Brene Brown says, “You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”

May is National Foster Care Awareness Month and it’s hard to believe that just seven years ago I knew so little about foster care. And to be very real and honest, most of my thoughts on the topic had a great deal of judgement attached. It is easy to fall into judgement when we don’t understand something.