There are things in life that cause us to grow. Things that insist upon us moving from one level of tolerance, capability, and knowledge to another. This week on the Mamas Well Podcast we talk with Dr. Jennifer Bogardus, an adoptive mom who shares a story of hope, grief, growth and connection.

This week my husband, Kyle, hijacks the host chair and puts me on the spot about what’s next in Mama’s Well world… Actually he helps me do something that’s not always the easiest for me. Look at how far things have come.

I have always struggled with anxiety and overwhelm. Although in my younger years, I did not know what it was called. I just knew I felt panicked and out of control. It felt as if the people or circumstances around me were the cause these internal uncontrollable feelings and sensations.

Parenting is my teacher. It has been teaching me for over 2 decades now, and I suppose that will continue to be the case. I am committed to learning and growing and am continually recognizing that I will never really “arrive” as I once believed I might.

Grieving is part of life. I used to think we only grieve when someone we love dies. And we do. I have grieved the tragic, traumatic deaths of both my parents long before I was ready to let them go.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been overwhelmed by the feelings that my life will never be my own again. At times being a parent has left me feeling like I am nothing more than an empty shell.

There is no arguing the fact that when we see a child “throwing a fit” in the store, on the playground, at a restaurant, that our initial thoughts typically lack compassion. Especially if it’s our kid…

It’s an unarguable fact. Technology is now more a part of our lives than it has ever been and there are no signs of that trend slowing any time soon. Riding the technology wave is difficult for anyone, and provides additional challenges for parents of children at any age.

O.K. Let’s get one thing straight. Compassion does not always mean relationship. Unfortunately many of our foster/adoptive children’s stories of abuse and neglect are such that any type of contact would be detrimental to the safety of our kids and our family. What compassion does mean is: “the concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others”.

What if our younger foster/adoptive children could tell us what they need. Wouldn’t that make life at least a little easier? If they could fast forward to their older, more healed selves and give us some pointers on how to better help them along the way, wouldn’t that be amazing???!!!