Foster and Adoptive Parents, are you feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone my friend…
Parenting children who have experienced trauma, who have come to us from chaotic backgrounds is tough… there are gaps that need to be filled… attachments that have been broken. All too often there has been abuse and neglect. Trauma can make parenting challenging…and on top of that, we are often unaware of our own unresolved childhood trauma that can wreak havoc on our ability to parent the children we love. Awareness of these gaps, in both parent and child, can guide us to the gift of wholeness and healing.
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Parenting is hard work and parenting children who have experienced trauma, who have come to us through foster care and adoption, can leave us overwhelmed and depleted. Healing from childhood trauma is a lifelong process, and parenting these children takes strength, endurance, compassion, and understanding.
A friend of ours once described his relationship with his father as one that was full of “gaps”. His father was a prison warden and emotional connection was not something he was well equipped to give his sons. He went on to say that while it was difficult at times to not get what he needed or wanted from his father emotionally, he was eventually able to find healing and strength to fill those gaps, so that he in turn, was able to offer more emotional support to his own family. He said that his search to fill those childhood gaps lead him to beautiful gifts in his life. His analogy resonated with me, not only as a child, longing for emotional connection from her parents, but as a parent, who often finds herself at a loss for how to connect with her children.
Most of our childhoods leave us with some gaps… trauma…emotional disconnection, divorce, separation, illness, death, addiction, abuse, neglect, and unfortunately, our parents are not always equipped to help us process all that trauma. Often they themselves are completely unaware of the gaps in their own childhood and how those gaps influence their parenting…Most of us step into parenting with a suitcase full of our own unfinished business. It is a vicious cycle, but a cycle that can be broken with awareness.
It’s through awareness of my own trauma, and the gifts that my trauma has given me, that I am learning to parent my children with compassion and understanding….and hope. And that’s important because as my battle cry says… “You can’t give what you don’t have”.
Click here to watch the very first episode of The Mama’s Well Podcast and for further resources visit MamasWell.com Let’s do this journey together,,,, because when Mama’s Well, all is Well.
Congratulations
Fabulous Tara ! 👌🏻
Topic So important & giving from your experiences …. helping those individuals coming up along a similar path!
Yes ….. YOU “Momma “ are “well “ !
♥️
Thank you Pam! Hugs to you❤️
Hey!, Miss Tara,
Very well done!! (not surprised!)……congratulations on your launch of “Mama’s Well!” Watched attentively. Forge ahead! Thanks for sharing. Tell Kyle “hello” for us……and the “kids.”
Also give our best to Johnathan and Timothy and their families. Hope/trust/pray that “all-is-well” with each one of you. Uncle Kent
Thank you Uncle Kent! You know all about adoption…I think you were the first people I ever knew who adopted! ❤️
Greetings and Hello,
I believe I can offer you a very unique, entertaining, and enjoyable guest on your podcast show, and how we can Lead with Love. To be sure, as a parent to over 60 children from foster care, I have seen how love changes lives, each day.
Briefly, I am Dr. John DeGarmo, a TEDx Talk speaker, leading expert in foster care and parenting, and director of The Foster Care Institute, and conduct seminars across the world on foster care, child sex trafficking, adoption, and child welfare related issues. I have had articles published world wide, have appeared on CNN HLN, Good Morning America, ABC CBS, FOX, NBC, and elsewhere. I am also author of several books, including Keeping Foster Children Safe Online, and Fostering Love: One Foster Parent’s Journey. As a parent, myself (biological, adoptive, foster) I have had over 60 children come live with me and my family.
Currently, I have 10 kids in my house and family (!). I wrote my doctoral dissertation on the topic of foster care, and am considered one of the leading experts in the field of parenting, adoption, child welfare, and foster care. I also hosted my own radio program Parent Factors with Dr. John, for several years.
A little personal history includes that I worked in professional wrestling for a few years, traveled the world performing in the international super group Up With People, married an Australian, among other things.
You can find out much more about me on my website.
I would be most interested in appearing on your radio program, as I do for so many others across the nation, speaking about issue regarding child sex trafficking, internet safety, foster care, adoption, child welfare, or parenting issues . If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask atdrjohndegarmo@gmail.com or at 706 318 9225.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Dr. John DeGarmo
The Foster Care Institute
Thank you…I’ll be in touch.
So beautiful Tara. You express your heart and the realities of how so many of us mothers feel. Congratulations abs thank you for sharing your gift with the world.
Thank you Stacy…you have been a great encourager to me…do you remember encouraging me? I kept the card you wrote me taped to my bathroom mirror. Please let Randy know how his Father’s Day message years back about “gifts and gaps” was never forgotten by me and inspired the tag line for the podcast… I loved the compassion it implies… it reminds me that even in my many gaps as a parent, God will bring the gifts….some I may never even know.
Hello Tara! Happy New Year! What a gift you gave to me this first day of 2021! I watched your very first podcast today! I am so excited and encouraged by what you had to offer us Mom’s out there who are foster parents. Thank you so much. I am subscribing and looking forward to your podcast as a much needed resource I can turn to everyweek!
Thank you Diane!